Monday, February 1, 2010

Ill have me some real Ventilum

How big is a heart. Really? Im talking about size in terms of emotional capacity. Because the physical size of a heart is rather small in comparison to the rest of our body mass.

How do you measure the size and capacity for one person to love? Do people come with greater capacities than others?I ask myself these questions from time to time.

I thought I had a big heart but I reckon it could get bigger.

Have you ever been to the doctor and done a lung capacity test? They make you breathe into this contraption that measures the volume of air that your lungs take in as you blow out. When you suffer from medical symptoms of asthma a poor reading is one of the ways that a person can tell if they need to get on a medication such as Ventilum. Ventilum allows a better flow of oxygen into the lungs without restriction and I guess expands the body's natural capacity for oxygen.

I sometimes feel as though I would like to take some Ventilum to allow myself to grow a bigger heart when my heart maxes out. Sometimes I feel I cannot fit anything else in there. Like having asthma I let a lot of stuff into my heart that clogs it up. I don't think about what measure of my heart I give people. Where I see a need I donate. There is a point where you donate so much of your heart that you run out of the red juice yourself. Thats how I have felt lately. I have turned to God to restore me because I am finding that I haven't been very good at picking good use by dates on the juice boxes I've been drinking from. The ones from the shop I purchase from are making me sick and loading me with toxins. I know that God is the only spiritually approved juice source when you're that thirsty for true sustanence.

But before you drink, first, you have to detox...

You may have read in a previous blog that I quit smoking about a month ago completely. I have since seen so many benefits. I breathe calmer, deeper and sleep better. I can run further and feel generally clearer in the head. My skin is dewy again and my teeth whiter. I cannot remember why I thought smoking was so attractive to me before now that I am recognizing just how good I feel without smoking.

The benefits for me are just not aesthetic though; they are spiritual. My capacity to breath more air in and replenish my body with the real fuel it needs is helping me to see things for what they are and make changes in my day to day. Replacing the toxins I was inhaling in is causing me to identify and avoid toxins in many aspects of my life. Just as my lungs cant take the toxins anymore my heart is following suit by purging too.

I want to know if there is a way of purging the toxins in the heart like quitting smoking. And if I could find it, would I experience the kind of restorative benefits for my heart that my lungs are reaping?

No. I don't believe you can purge the toxins in your heart that easily. It takes time. But I do think you can at least switch the bad stuff you're feeding your heart with good solid stuff to see the beginning of transformation on the outside. In my lifetime I have seen the work that people have done on their hearts manifested on the outside by noticeable character change. This is a very rare thing that I have only seen a few times in 28 years. I am learning that its never the exterior superficial that indicates true purging and renewal; its the persons deeds.

When you quit smoking you remove the effects but you can't undo the damage completely. You leave remenents of what you did to your body that wasn't healthy and you carry that story with you until you die. The heart can be renewed but it will never forget.I guess thats why its so so so important to guard your heart dearer than anything you hold in your life. Because its the thing that has the greatest capacity to touch others and its the thing that allows you to let love in. If you have not love you cannot enjoy the goodness life has to offer.

You can only love well if you turn to God to provide it for you first. No human has a Ventilum for the heart. I know he is changing me entirely and I hope to see just how in due time.


  1. Gratz on Quitting Smoking, and I think you'll find the heart has an infinite capacity... although its funny to use terms that speak of what it can hold when it is all about what it can give...

  2. Beautiful idea, and a very poetically beautiful way of putting it.