There were a bunch of obstacles to making it to the game to increase my options of bailing out. First of all i was running late due to unexpected heavy traffic on the 405. Second I showed up at the location to meet my team members and no one was there. Third i didnt have my contacts phone number and had to rely on emails to communicate. However everything seemed to work itself out just fine for me to make it on time to the correct location without compromising our game. See if i hadnt shown up our team would have had to forfeit. And that was what kept my faith high that somehow, someway i would play dodgeball today.
What i wanted to talk about is not my experience of dodgeball. Its more that i want to share about an amazing breakthrough i had while playing today. I have always been a fairly competitive person when it comes to sport. Back in school i played almost every sport and did fairly ok. However i was never GREAT at any particular sport. I always wanted to be but really struggled with maintaining the psychology to bring my best to each game consistently and not choke when the stakes were high. You could say i would sabotage some of my greatest opportunities to succeed in sport - especially when it meant a lot to me. I was told by many coaches of my natural ability to excel. I had discipline and determination and a fighting spirit. However, whenever i would visualise the stakes during a game i would play my worst.
My friend told me today that he plays his best when he enters with the attitude that "he doesnt care". I told him that was what i used to say. And thats pretty much been my approach to life. Ive been convinced for years that if i let go of the importance of a game, skill, relationship i wont be disappointed if i fail and i will exceed my own expectations. However about a year ago i realised this apathetic attitude wasnt getting me to the top. I was mediocre in every aspect of my life. Lukewarm. I would let go of any expectations to excel and compromise my opportunity to be the best. I dont think a master of any sport will ever impart the wisdom that a laissez faire attitude brings out your best game. In fact, most sports legends ive had the honor of quizzing on the topic have said their absolute "can do" attitude is what led them to their consistent best.
So today i wanted to practise a little of this. See i was shit scared that i would make a fool out of myself in front of a whole bunch of fanatics. I hate losing secretly and i hate to suck at physical activities especially. I felt paralysed by my fear of not being able to understand or contribute to the game. I know it was just a dodgeball game but it wasnt that to me today. I had mentally turned it into an exercise in beating fear. And wow what an exciting experience it was to just dive in and give myself the opportunity to explore if i really could do this. I decided that the game was in my life for a reason today and that there was a finite possibility i could do it well and could have a great game. I refused to believe any other conflicting message.
I loved playing with this attitude. I did really well and even was one of the only people on my experienced team to attempt to catch a ball. My teammates seemed shocked at my spirit. I was shocked myself. I wont say that i am a natural dodgeball champion but i will say that i did much better than i thought was possible. And its because i really just believed that it could be possible. I believed that things i had no idea about doing i could do over and over and get better and better. I believed that i could with practise become a master and i wasnt afraid to invest myself in getting the practise to get me there.
Enough anthony robbins for today...
But seriously... try it. Think that there is no reason why you cannot trust that it is possible for you to do really well no matter what setbacks lie ahead. You can rise above whenever challenge you are afraid. Everyone is meant to be great!
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