Nightingale - convicted by conscience

Im fascinated by this lovely lady, Florence Nightingale. The woman who pioneered the role of the female nurse. Led by a Christian calling to leave behind her aristocratic upbringing and serve sick people in need of medical aid, she was a woman who dubbed herself as a "man of action". She dedicated her life for others because she truly believed she must as a "soldier" of the Lord. 

This woman is inspiring. The way she selflessly used her gift of empathy to treat the weak and needy. The way she remained celibate during her entire life. Florence Nightingale lived a life of solely serving others who needed her help. Her entire pleasure and joy of existence deriving from a healthy spiritual conscience.  

Now here is my question. She said he was "called by the Lord" to pursue this life of service. She was raised in a quasi-comfortable environment where others served her. She had no worldly reason to dedicate a moment to a selfless cause. She lived in an area that was not surrounded by cues to direct her thoughts to those in need. Was she really chosen by God to live this life or did she herself choose it? Was she escaping the expectations of her family by choosing to serve none other than the intangible?

I have been a believer for quite some time. Yet I would not say that I am good at it all the time. Meaning Im good at the believing part but pretty sloppy at getting the application right. I believe my strength in faith is motivated by my conscience, that God and Jesus exist and I think the bible is a handbook of truth. However,  I do not know my "calling" despite the fact I pray daily. If I did Im convinced I would be better at applying myself to the task. Though I do become convicted of actions due to what I perceive to be Gods desire for me, when I hear Christians say "God told me so" or "God spoke to me" I err on the side of cynical. How do you know for certain of a conviction? 

I went to see the movie Avatar the other evening. The story showed the battle between two opposing cultures with different values. The hero has to choose which reality he feels is he belongs. I wonder if we ever ask ourselves this question why do we believe? Do we believe in things because we stumble into them or because we are told so?  Do we ever ask ourselves whether we have sought to define our values for ourselves through life experience? I think Florence Nightingale did just that. She aligned her personal will power to convict herself of a very difficult choice to abandon her traditional value system because it didn't serve her spiritual conscience. She birthed herself a new identity in the end. I think she is the definition of one following a true "calling" by living to serve her God and the people in the world that needed one. 

I believe that a life lived with a graceful conscience is the recipe for true freedom.